Anonymous
05-19-2004, 08:02 PM
This is FLASH - Investigative Reporter for the Summit News.
In an apparent change in campaign strategy, Larry has taken the dog of Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane. Sources close to his campaign state that after Roscoe posted a statement in the room "HARRISON SAVED MY LIFE", Larry became very agitated and vowed to take action.
"I will not tolerate this" he said. "I must make a statement to the citizens... something bold... "
The dog was last seen tied up to the gas pumps in front of Cooter's Garage. Witnesses state that a black blazer pulled up and two midgets in black outerwear grabbed the dog.
A representative from the Harrison campaign stated that Larry was doing this to get his name out in the public. A Community Meeting was held by Larry later that day at the solid waste collection station in Red Bank. After only two people showed up (both were disposing of their trash), Larry called the meeting to order.
"I want to tell everyone that I would be the best Sheriff... a sheriff's education means nothing... I have a High School Diploma.... years and years of experience means nothing.... I was a Narc and now an SRO... A decrease in Crime means nothing... the FBI and SLED are wrong in how they collect data... and finally accreditation means nothing ... it cost 4,000,000 dollars and is the cause of the current high gas prices nationwide"
As Larry presented his statement at the community meeting, a staffer pointed and clicked as the PowerPoint presentation was shown against a beautiful blue dumpster.
After leaving the Community Meeting, I went to talk with Cooter.
"Well, I was jus watchin the dawg for Roscoe while he was boatin on the lake last weekend" Cooter said. "Enos told me he seen Roscoe's dawg in the Poultry Parade holding a big sign sayin Harrison for Sheriff"
"I think he was forced to hold it" Cooter said.
I thought I might walk through town and see what the citizens had to say. "Excuse me sir, I am with the Summit News.. What do you think of the Sheriff's dog being taken by Harrison?"
"Harrison.... didn't he play with the Beatles?" he said.
"No Sir, he is running for Sheriff against Roscoe."
I walked into the Boar's Nest, a common gathering place, and asked the bartender his thoughts.
"I like that Harrison fella, especially when he takes off his shirt. I loved watchin him in that Indiana Jones movie"
Well readers, I am out of time for now... stay tuned for more in depth reporting from the Summit News
FLASH
In an apparent change in campaign strategy, Larry has taken the dog of Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane. Sources close to his campaign state that after Roscoe posted a statement in the room "HARRISON SAVED MY LIFE", Larry became very agitated and vowed to take action.
"I will not tolerate this" he said. "I must make a statement to the citizens... something bold... "
The dog was last seen tied up to the gas pumps in front of Cooter's Garage. Witnesses state that a black blazer pulled up and two midgets in black outerwear grabbed the dog.
A representative from the Harrison campaign stated that Larry was doing this to get his name out in the public. A Community Meeting was held by Larry later that day at the solid waste collection station in Red Bank. After only two people showed up (both were disposing of their trash), Larry called the meeting to order.
"I want to tell everyone that I would be the best Sheriff... a sheriff's education means nothing... I have a High School Diploma.... years and years of experience means nothing.... I was a Narc and now an SRO... A decrease in Crime means nothing... the FBI and SLED are wrong in how they collect data... and finally accreditation means nothing ... it cost 4,000,000 dollars and is the cause of the current high gas prices nationwide"
As Larry presented his statement at the community meeting, a staffer pointed and clicked as the PowerPoint presentation was shown against a beautiful blue dumpster.
After leaving the Community Meeting, I went to talk with Cooter.
"Well, I was jus watchin the dawg for Roscoe while he was boatin on the lake last weekend" Cooter said. "Enos told me he seen Roscoe's dawg in the Poultry Parade holding a big sign sayin Harrison for Sheriff"
"I think he was forced to hold it" Cooter said.
I thought I might walk through town and see what the citizens had to say. "Excuse me sir, I am with the Summit News.. What do you think of the Sheriff's dog being taken by Harrison?"
"Harrison.... didn't he play with the Beatles?" he said.
"No Sir, he is running for Sheriff against Roscoe."
I walked into the Boar's Nest, a common gathering place, and asked the bartender his thoughts.
"I like that Harrison fella, especially when he takes off his shirt. I loved watchin him in that Indiana Jones movie"
Well readers, I am out of time for now... stay tuned for more in depth reporting from the Summit News
FLASH