Harrison saved my life!

[Anonymous]

Just the other day, I was out on the lake and a crazy storm came up out of nowhere and overtook my little bass boat. The Sky turned black and the water was lapping at all sides of my boat, let me tell you, I was one scared dude. Then out of the darkness comes this silver pontoon, I swear to God it was glowing, and on it was these 12 people. One of the twelve had a eerie calm on his face and his campaign button said Harrison, he stepped to the side and called out " Come to me my son, and you shall be safe ".

I called back " I'm too scared, I can't swim too good and I've been drinking Bud all day long ". The man said " have faith and come to me and you shall not perish "

Man I didn't know what to do, here was this guy who seemed to have it all together. I wanted to believe him but if I was wrong, my life would be in jeopardy. So I called back " How do I know I can trust you with my life, I don't know anything about you, except that you would shtup my wife if I turned my back. "

He called back " That was the old me, I'm new and impoved because I have seen the LIGHT, besides you can't prove that . " I asked " What light, the one the her husband turn on when he came home and found you laying pipe without a permit. "

That seemed to piss him off but he managed to keep his voice level " Just come here and everything will work out " Well, after 12 or so beers that sounded about right so I stepped out of my boat and low and behold I was actually walking on the water.

I took a couple more steps and ,SPLASH, I went under. Turn out that I had been pushed up on a shallow spot due to the lake being lowered. Well, about the time I went under for the third and final time when a hand reaches down and grabs me by the hair. I looked up and saw Harrison holding on for dear life.
During all of this chaos I see another boat approaching and then search lights came on. As soon as the light hit Harrison he screamed out and turned to his portly driver and screamed " Hit it Heggas! " and she went to put the hammer down, but she apparently injured herself so Harrison jumped over and hit the throttle himself.
They speed away into the darkness of the storm and the sheriff's boat stopped and pulled me in.

As I sat there soaked to the bone and spitting up water, I thought of something my Grandpappy once said to me. He said " Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, and you must have gotten tired of screwing my wife. " Well, if Harrison hadn't held me by the hair and kept me from drowning long enough for the patrol boat to get there, I would have died. But then again, if I hadn't listened to him in the first place I wouldn't have been in that position. I guess you could say that he sort of saved my life, it doesn't really matter, he taught me a valuable lesson.

You might be caught in a storm one day and not know which way to turn, but if the boat ain't sinking, don't jump ship, cause you just might drown.

[Anonymous]

As true as the Good Book, Roscoe!

[Anonymous]

What a beautiful parable! But isn't it illegal to drink while boating? A little maturity is called for, I do believe. It will also no doubt help the illusions and DTs if you lay off the sauce while you are in the hot sun.

[Anonymous]

Go back to whatever you was smoking and please, stay away from sharp objects!

[Anonymous]

Maybe Roscoe is Comerford. Both seem to be drunks. Roscoe are you going to endorse Metts on behalf of AA?

[Anonymous]

Hey Roscoe, you think that story is funny? Just go on over this weekend and try to get a plate of that free barbeque the sheriff and the undertaker is giving away. You'll learn a real lesson about a fool and his money.

[Reality]

:vom: Well here we go again.. Wyatt, Hammer, Mo Blow now ladys and gents... A comedian called Roscoe.. Does this get any better or what?

Whats the matter sweetie... did someone lay metal pipe to your wife and when the lights came on you found a shortage on PVC in your pants. I can only assume you had a flashback of something and felt the need to vent heresay AGAIN!!!!

Try your BS on someone else. If you have a real story to share, with real facts then go ahead and post it. But wet dreams and bad story lines there better left in your little tiny brain. You know the one that most likely matches your little tiny PVC pipe....

Grow up dear.. I'm a female and I can tell someone who's had his ego stepped on once or twice... But maybe you should pony up to the rest of the boys who try to play out here and get your sympathy there. Better yet, you can start a support group for when Harrison makes Sheriff and your still running around in Denial trying to find Daddy!!! :evil:

Good luck.. See ya June 8th HARRISON FOR SHERIFF 2004!!! :razz:

[Anonymous]

Where is this free barbecue that Jimbo and the coroner are giving away???

[Anonymous]

Didn't you get your invite in the mail? It's over at Hendrix farm on Highway 1. Trust me, there ain't gonna be no free barbeque! If you get a plate free, let the rest of know how you did it.

[Anonymous]

What was I thinking? FREE Barbecue from Jimbo? I guess you are right...

[Anonymous]

Weed wacker:

Where is this BBQ and was it open to voting citizens or just Metts backers? I think it might be interesting to attend. Maybe I can ask Metts my questions and see if some face time will reap the answers. Maybe we should all show and see what he has to say! :oops:

[Anonymous]

I read the Hendrix farms. But, I need to know date, time and if you have an idea of where this farm is, would be helpful.

Thanks,

[Anonymous]

Holy Maurice Bessenger! It's tomorrow (May 20th) from 5:30 til 8:00 pm, so you have to lift and eat quick or they will shut the gate on you! Check out Jimbo's web page under "events" for details! The post card I got said the barbeque was FREE, but I don't believe that any more than I believe anything Jimbo is apt to say. You'll have to get past a whole army of deputies with plastic buckets wanting "donations" if you want to get a mouthful of mustard based out of that bunch. It might be fun to try though! See you there!

[Anonymous]

Remember Metts other public appearance? You know, when he dedicated the "No loitering" sign in the parking lot of the AME church. I wonder if he invited any of them coloreds over for a free plate of barbeque? I guess maybe that zip code got dropped off the mailing list. Well, well see how many brothers turn out for free ribs tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

I do love a good parable. Please let us know if you have any others, Brother Coltrane. Thank you for trying to bring the truth to the masses.
:prayer:

[Anonymous]

Here's a parable for you Mr. Manners. This one was told by Abe Lincoln. (roughly stated since I don't have the story in front of me) There was once this man, and the man grabbed onto a pig. The pig began to run, and the man hung on. The pig ran through buildings, shops and homes, but the man still hung on. As the pig and man run through these buildings, shop and homes, the pig started to break things, but the man hung on. Someone yelled to the man and said "Let go, you are tearing up the place" and man stated " I can't, I don't know how"

Now Lincoln was talking about McClellan (the pig) and Lincoln (the man) kept hanging on to him, even though McClellan was doing poorly as a General and losing the war. Lincoln had no one to turn to, so he kept McClellan, until Grant came and energized the union army.


We the citizens of Lexington county (the man) are holding on to jimmy (the pig), who is running down the sheriff's department. But we didn't know how to let go. Now we have someone new who can energize the department (Harrison).


tick tick tick tick :toimonst: jimmy is going to be leaving the building

[Anonymous]

TO; ROSCOE P. COLTRANE. SOME DAY ,SOME WHERE, SOMEHOW, I WILL HAVE A CHANCE TO TALK TO YOU. THAT MY FRIEND IS THE DAY YOU BETTER HOPE NEVER, NEVER GETS HERE. STICK TO WHAT YOU DO BEST, NOTHING ;-)

[Anonymous]

TO; ROSCOE P. COLTRANE. SOME DAY ,SOME WHERE, SOMEHOW, I WILL HAVE A CHANCE TO TALK TO YOU. THAT MY FRIEND IS THE DAY YOU BETTER HOPE NEVER, NEVER GETS HERE. STICK TO WHAT YOU DO BEST, NOTHING ;-)

Wow, it seems that someone is a little overheated. Tell you what, the day you're elected sheriff, I show up at the sheriff dept. wearing one of your "stolen" signs and I'll let you kick my ass. And as a added bonus, you can screw my wife. It will be just like old times. See you on the 8th :yawinkle:
Oh by the way, This is what I do best, or at least it worked on you.

[Anonymous]

Roscoe, you pathetic d**Khead, I'm not Harrison. I wouldn't worry about having to wear that sign if I were you. See you around.

[Anonymous]

If you aren't Harrison, then you have a couple of issues, I mean not a whole lot of people make threats just because of a little fun on a message board. Is he your boyfriend or something? If you're a guy, are you the pitcher or the catcher, if I were a bettin' man (and I am), I'd say Catchin'. Not that it matters to me but it would explain some things. Tell you what, I'll make your day. Why don't you come pay me a visit? I like to eat at the Flight Deck on Friday nights, come on in and pull up a chair. If you kiss my ass enough, I might buy you a piece of cake. I'll be wearing the "F U" (fordham university) t-shirt and ass-less chaps, just so it want be so hard on you to get to my ample backside. If you can't find me, just holler out "I love queer eye for the straight guy" and I'll find you. Just so I'll have a name, other than the highly original "Guest", I'll call you "Cooter" from now on. It seems kind of a appropriate, don't you think. I like to eat at 7:00 sharp so don't be late. Later Cooter.

[Anonymous]

If you aren't Harrison, then you have a couple of issues, I mean not a whole lot of people make threats just because of a little fun on a message board. Is he your boyfriend or something? If you're a guy, are you the pitcher or the catcher, if I were a bettin' man (and I am), I'd say Catchin'. Not that it matters to me but it would explain some things. Tell you what, I'll make your day. Why don't you come pay me a visit? I like to eat at the Flight Deck on Friday nights, come on in and pull up a chair. If you kiss my ass enough, I might buy you a piece of cake. I'll be wearing the "F U" (fordham university) t-shirt and ass-less chaps, just so it want be so hard on you to get to my ample backside. If you can't find me, just holler out "I love queer eye for the straight guy" and I'll find you. Just so I'll have a name, other than the highly original "Guest", I'll call you "Cooter" from now on. It seems kind of a appropriate, don't you think. I like to eat at 7:00 sharp so don't be late. Later Cooter.
:butthead:

[Anonymous]

If you aren't Harrison, then you have a couple of issues, I mean not a whole lot of people make threats just because of a little fun on a message board. Is he your boyfriend or something? If you're a guy, are you the pitcher or the catcher, if I were a bettin' man (and I am), I'd say Catchin'. Not that it matters to me but it would explain some things. Tell you what, I'll make your day. Why don't you come pay me a visit? I like to eat at the Flight Deck on Friday nights, come on in and pull up a chair. If you kiss my ass enough, I might buy you a piece of cake. I'll be wearing the "F U" (fordham university) t-shirt and ass-less chaps, just so it want be so hard on you to get to my ample backside. If you can't find me, just holler out "I love queer eye for the straight guy" and I'll find you. Just so I'll have a name, other than the highly original "Guest", I'll call you "Cooter" from now on. It seems kind of a appropriate, don't you think. I like to eat at 7:00 sharp so don't be late. Later Cooter.
:butthead:


This folks is a shining example of a good ole boy brought to you by jimmy metts. This is why jimmy must go. This is truely one of the greatest losers I have ever come across. Keep it coming RERUN, you're doing a lot of good for Harrison. :finga:



tick tick tick tick :toimonst: jimmy and the good ole boys are leaving the building.

[Anonymous]

Heres a parable for you Roscoe"

The difference between "Class" and "Trash".... The definition--

Harrison has to much "Class" to stoop to your level of "Trash" and comment on something written with no real foundation or fact. You almost sound like belligerent Jimmy in that meeting where he couldn't focus on anything but Harrison.. Oh my gosh.. That's it.. Your Metts..

ROSCOE IS METTS.... That explains that smell.. FEAR!! Sound insane Roscoe? Or worse, does it run a little to close to home?

Do us all a favor dear! Grow Up, Get a Shrink and Get a life! Because you clearly have some pretty weird fascination with Harrison that is both unhealthy and really, really childish.

I doubt Harrison even browses this forum. I am certain he would never take the time to respond to something so poorly written and childish as the poorly written story. You really have to much time to think about stuff honey. Get a real job or lay off the sauce!

But hey, to each his own right? Oops, that might be a little over your head, sorry honey.. If I could S P E L L S L O W E R.. Maybe you could pick up on it!

Here's what we know and care about when it comes to HARRISON AND THIS ELECTION!!! Nothing else matters!

Harrison is going to reduce our taxes not raise them another 60% like Metts!

Harrison is going to put more Deputies on our streets -- Not reduce them the bigger we grow!

Harrison is going to address the internal issues of the Department -- Not allow it to continue like the Cancer it's become.

Harrison is going to Listen To The Voters/Citizens of Lexington County and be accessible to address our issues!

But the most encouraging thing is HARRISON WANTS TO BE OUR SHERIFF!!!! HE'S NOT LOOKING FOR ANY OTHER JOBS!!! HE'S FIGHTING FOR THIS ONE!!!

SEE YA JUNE 8th!

[Anonymous]

No Doubt, I think you are on to something. Wyatt was ole jimmy, once busted he had not been on the site. No one else is sticking up for jimmy, but jimmy. The writings of RERUN sounds like the jingle that ole jimmy made up about Gov. Beasley. My My My My. jimmy is busted again. You can hide, but we can smell right though you. Your mud slinging and arrogance gives you away every time.



tick tick tick tick :toimonst: jimmy, aka Wyatt, aka Roscoe, is going to be leaving the building.

[Anonymous]

Wasn't there a post on this site that referred to Metts as Roscoe before this string was started. Coincidence?

[Anonymous]

Lets remember that it was a Harrison supporter that first started threatening people on here. Not that I blame Harrison, I am sure all of the candidates have some warped followers.

Hmmmm threats over the internet. Can you say SEARCH WARRANT, SECRET SERVICE, and JAIL.

Investigative Technology is so advanced these days.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for the all of the wonderful responses. I couldn't have hope for a better turn out. First thing, I'm not Masta' Metts, but I do support the sheriff's department. I happen to believe that the current management has continued to improve year to year in the 10 years I have lived in the county. But the thing I love above all else is pissing off these one trick ponies known as Harrison Supporters. They will lose their minds if you put up anything supportive of the current admin. or doubt Harrison's ability to lead one of the state's largest sheriffs department. They also say the same things over and over again:
My taxes are too high! :cry: (If you want to know high taxes, go to Charleston or Dorchester counties) I happen to belive that if I want to have a higher quality of life then I have to pay the cost associated with it. We have some of the best public services not just in the state but the entire southeast. And for those who don't quite understand something, Jimmy doesn't raise your taxes, The County does. He just asks them for the money to run his department. If you think it cost too much , elect new council members. They can put a stop to it in a hurry.
Jimmy is mean and unrefined. :mad: Yes he is, but he was the exact same guy 30 years ago; the first time he was elected. His social skills have nothing to do with building a top notch sheriff department. It limits him in his political career (hence no Govenorship) but that does matter to me.
Jimmy abuses his county car and time. :oops: That's not exactly the facts, I happen to know for a fact that he takes his POV (personal car) when he goes down to Charleston Southern. It can be argued that he is a cop 24/7 and shouldn't be allowed to do any other type of job but I think he has things well enough in hand so that he can leave the county for an 3 hours once a week. As for going to receive further training, say as in the FBI academy or something. I would hope that all of our leaders are trying to be better at their jobs, so they continue upgrading the service I receive as a taxpaying resident.
Jimmy cheats on his lovely wife. :shock: If that we a founded accusation then you would have seen it on the news for days or read it in the paper. He is so well known in and out of the state that people would eat up that news and then spit him back out. But I beleive the truth is that Harrison's gang of malcontents have decided that it fits better on Jimmy's Shoulders than Larrys. The only problem is Larry actually did cheat with another man's wife and I know that for fact. The only way to deflect that is to accuse the other guy of the same thing.
I think Harrison is a good man and a good cop who made an error in judgement. I also think that costs him when it comes time to lead fellow officers. I know I would have a hard time following him.
So you see No Doubt/Reality, I've said all of this to say that I wasn't trying to fight with Harrison. I was screwing with the a bunch of ignorant hicks who can't see past the propaganda that swallows this site. I was threatened and responded in a way that would make the poster angry and yet amuse others. (mostly myself, not so much others) I knew it wasn't Harrison, that was part of the joke. If you want to go round and round with me, then I'm always looking for some fun. Otherwise sit back and enjoy the fun and don't take this message board, debate or yourself so seriously.
By the way, you don't have to spell S-l-O-W-E-R, you just have to take that appendage out of your mouth so I can understand what you're saying. Didn't your mother teach you not to talk with your mouth full? :supz:

[Anonymous]

He saved my life too.

LOL