A Little girls cry for help

[Anonymous]

Dear Citizens who post on this forum:

I post this information from frustration with our judicial system and on behalf of a mother and child. Unfortunately, it has nothing to do with the election or Candidates Metts and Harrison. I hope you will still take the time to read this and hopefully help me with some advice and guidance on what to do next.

Last night, Friday March 19, I spent over 4 hours at the LCSD in one of those small rooms with a child, Deputy and Detective trying to help her understand why the law works the way it does when it comes to abuse. She is a beautiful, intelligent, witty and loving child. To meet her, you would never know what takes place in her home on a daily basis. It has taken me the better part of 2 years to gain her trust and for her to finally feel comfortable enough to ask someone for help. The problem is, when she asked, and I did what I had been taught to do, our laws through a huge road block in our way. Thanks to the Legislation on CDV that was put into affect in January 2004 - a child can no longer be considered a CDV case when it involves a parent. It is categorized as an assault. Unless there are physical markings of bruises, scrapes, or whatever horrors they went through during the abuse, then the law enforcement has no recourse. At least that appears to be the message that this child, her mother and I received last night. This child is cursed, called names such as slut, whore, bitch and other foul and lude names by her father on a daily basis. He grabs her by her hair and yells into her face as she stated "spitting" as he screams at her. He has pushed her up against walls in their home, thrown things at her, told her she was worthless and would never amount to anything. Yesterday, he made her remove her shirt in his presence because he said she was not worthy of wearing something he purchased for her and didn't deserve it. Why? Because he found out that she told someone what he was doing to her. She wants to run away, she is terrified of what may happen to her when her mother has to return her on Sunday because of the visitation order. The father beat, stalked and harrassed the mother during the time they were married. He tried to run down her father with a car, looked in windows, kicked her while laying in the floor after fights. Said unthinkable things and she became another one of our states CDV statistics. She was beaten down to the point that she was willing to do anything to get away from him. Even, giving him custody of the child as a toddler. I am a mother and to me, nothing is worth leaving a child behind. However, I am learning more and more on a daily basis of what kind of affect and hold CDV has on the victim. I for one feel like I would die trying to get my child. Victims have a totally different concept. I believe they make baseball bats for jerks like this. They believe they deserve to be beaten. So, as much as I would like to point my finger and say "Mom you put your daughter in this situation and left her behind" I can't. Because the truth is, in their frame of mind, they had no recourse. That was 11 years ago. 2 years after the mother got out she went back for her child and fought the court system to get her out. The child was writing letters begging for help because of the abuse she was sustaining. A guardian adlitem intervened and ruled that the child was receiving abuse. DSS recorded specific incidents where the child did receive abuse. When it went to court under Chewning, he saw a mother who left behind a child and a friend of the family as the defendent. He didn't see the child or hear what the child had to say. He didn't care what the Guardian Adlitem ruled and the fact that the child had written letters in her own handwriting uncoerced begging for his help. This went to court approximately 3 times, each time with Chewning, each time him ruling for the Daddy because Mom didn't stick around to get her butt kicked and take her daughter out of it. Of course, he must be the better parent right? I have spoken directly to this man, I have spoken to the neighbors who witnessed his abuse. The Teachers at the school have heard her crying and yet nothing done until I pointed out that if a child tells you she's afraid to go home and a child tells you that she was hurt by a parent, it is your duty to follow through and report the incident. Which happened on a Friday at 4:45pm right before DSS shut the door. But hey, I am sure when they come in on Monday someone will grab that post-it note and think about what happened to that little girl on Sunday night when she was forced to go back home to her Daddy because Chewning ordered it so. This has never kissed a boy. Is never allowed to have a boyfriend or male friends from a direct quote from her father. He has tried on several occassions to manipulate me into thinking the mother was bad because "She left her with me for 2 years and gave up custody before she decided to come back in and take her for no good reason". He made lude and unjust statements to a complete stranger (i.e, me, my spouse) because for all of his complaining, he would never take the initative to meet me and find out who his daughter and ex-wife were spending time with when she had her. Instead, he called me (a complete stranger at the time) requesting that I never allow his child to come back to my house because I happen to be the parent of a little boy who was her best friend. Mind you, I am proud to state that my son has never had sex, kissed a girl or held hands and he is almost 15 and doesn't mind telling you why he is waiting. I taught my children to surround themselves with positive people like they are. This little girl is the female version of my son and I feel very blessed to of had her come into our lives. We do consider her family. She is not a teenager going through a phase, she is not angry at her father and trying to pay him back for not buying her something or giving her what she wants. She is however a verbally and physically abused child. She sat in that interrogation room for 4 hours trying to explain why she was afraid to go home. As I was driving her and her mother home, her first comment was, they can't help me can they? I responded, we have a foundation we are building. Her response, he's going to kill me or hurt me really bad when I go home Sunday, then what am I supposed to do? I responded, run to a neighbor, scream , ask for someone to call the police. She responded, when DSS calls or comes by and they see my pretty house and meet my dad and his step wife and they pretend to be someone their not, I have to live with him when they walk out the door and leave me behind, who's going to keep him from hurting me then? My response, God. Because citizens at this point, I know not what else to do or say. The mother is a working mom who pays her childsupport perfectly. She loves her child, encourages her child and has tried since this child was 5 to bring her into a loving home and safe enviornment. This child is a prime example of a child left behind to defend herself with an irrate, overbearing and abusive father. She is 14 and not allowed to do anything without him present. She can't have friends stay in her home, nor can she stay with her friends. She cannot have males contact her home, even for school work. She is forced to play only in her backyard (with a privacy fence) never allowed to go out in the front or neighborhood. When he caught her calling her mother to say I love you, he took all of the phones out of the home and hid them so that she could no longer make phone calls. I spoke with a Victims Advocate who said that Law firms can take a pro bono case if they are asked. I believe she said that one a year is what they do. My plea is simple. Can anyone help this child. Not the mother, but the child? This child needs someone to speak for her in a loud and clear voice. She needs to be heard. Silent cries after being thrown into a wall and cursed because she looks like her mother and is a normal 14 year old girl is not being heard. Fearing for her life because she has to return to him after having told a police officer she thought could help her is not being heard. I have helped her feel comfortable enough to tell the Law Enforcement her story. She has told the teacher and the teacher told DSS. But, this is a merry go round ride that she has fallen off of before as a younger child. The older she gets, the worse he gets. The more she tries to say what hurts her or what she feels, the more vile and angry he becomes. No one has a right to grab their child by the head of hair like a cave man and spit in their face as they curse them for being a child and female. No one has the right to make a child feel less than the gift they are. No one has the right to be forced to live in a picture perfect house of hell. Because that is exactly what this child has to go home to on Sunday and suffer verbal and most likely physical abuse now because she asked someone for help! I had a difficult time sleeping last night. I am going to have a more difficult time putting my head down to sleep on Sunday night when I say my prayers and ask God to please not let him break her or hurt so bad that she can't get to school on Monday and tell the SRO. When she cries Sunday night after her abuse, who's going to hear the whimpers in the night?

Please take a moment to ask your Attorney friends, legislation, judges, law enforcement friends or co-workers what this child's rights are and how she can be helped. Because, I thought I was on the right path, but after hearing her cry until 3 am because she sees the retrobution and fall out for having told the truth is more than I think I can handle without taking it into my own hands and allowing him to take a swing at a woman who would love to show him what fight is.

Thank you for at least reading this information. I would greatly appreciate your input and ideas on how to help this child and to keep her safe.

I have an email address you can email directlly to me. Ugagirl66@sc.rr.com.

[Anonymous]

This is to serve as an update on this child that no one seems to be able to respond too or help with. The Detective showed up to her house on that Sunday night and placed the child in a very vulnerable situation. The father admitted to doing what was reported and the detective leaves, with the child being left to defend herself with a very irrate father and step mother. What purpose did it serve for this child to have to defend herself in front of her abuser? What purpose did is serve for the child to report an incident and then have a detective show up and laugh and act friendly with her abuser? Worse, no reports have been responded to that the mother was told was filed by the Detective directly to a DSS Supervisor. This is now Wednesday night, six days after the incident. Nothing has been done by anyone. Once again, this child has been pushed under the carpet and left behind to defend herself against this jerk. What is the mother supposed to do? She calls DSS everyday asking for help. She contacted the Detective who appears less than happy to discuss anything with her. What happened to the Protective and Serve motto that was taken? I know that these guys are over worked and under paid. I just would really appreciate some clarity on what a citizen is supposed to do and what a mother is supposed to do when they follow what the law tells them to do and the law lets them down? Is there anyone who knows anything that will help this child? All she wants is to be able to speak direclty to the Judge and tell him what her life is like. I don't think thats such a horrible request. But for some reason, no one in the Court house seems to want to hear the voice of the only person this situation affects. Maybe when the day comes and they read her story next to her obituary in the paper, they will realize that 5 minutes of their time to hear a small voice, could have prevented years of abuse and sadness.

Thanks for reading this post.

[Anonymous]

Fighting Chance

I believe you are correct in pursing a pro-bono case from Attorneys in Lexington and Richland Counties. I would encourage you to get together a list and begin calling them to ask if they have taken their case for the year.

I am not an Attorney or Police Officer. Just a regular citizen. I hope someone has at least taken initative to respond to your request. I find it interesting that no one has posted any type of response to aid you in your cause. I hope this does not mean chivalary is dead. It appears there are a lot of Law enforcement people on this site. You would think one of them would know what could be done to help the child and mother. I agree that they are over worked and underpaid. It still does not make it ok for one of them to have went directly to the father and put the child indirectly in harms way. There should have been a better protocol used.

It makes you wonder what kind of Sheriff we have sitting that big office in our County. I am certain he has people read this site. Why can't anyone seem to help out here. Please let me know if anyone has responded outside of this forum. I would be interested to see if there is a real interest in the safety of our community and the children in it. Someone is definately falling down on the job here. I would also suggest contacting the local media with your story and what has or has not been done to date. They always get involved in stories like this. There are also several agencies for Abused and Neglected children that could probably assist you in putting pressure on these individuals to follow through, follow up and do their jobs.

Best of luck to you and the child will be in our prayers.

[Anonymous]

Frustration does not describe the words I have right now for this situation. I see so many hits on this, and yet not one person has bothered to respond to this childs plight. Of course, I believe that is about to change in a very proactive way. One that will hopefully wake up all you sleep walkers. Yes, dare I say, even those of you who patted this child sweetly on the head and sneezed LIAR as you were smacking her Dad on the back laughing and chatting about baseball/football and telling him how stupid this was and apologzing for the bothering him with something like this that was just a waste of time.

I have copied something for you and the LC DSS to take a look at. I have contacted every National Agency and Advocate for Children that I could locate and you know what guys? Their response has been overwhelming. They to agree that someone needs to thoroughly investigate the practices and protocols for dealing with matters of this caliber.

Clearly, none of you who proclaim to know the law about abused children, know what the heck your talking about. To that end, here is something you should read. I have bolded the areas that applied to this child and her case for your review. Don't you worry though, I don't expect any of you to step up and do your jobs because according to S and J at our local Lexington DSS this case has been "SCREENED OUT". Did I mention that they never bothered to interview the child, look for markings, bruises. Oh, thats right. You guys asked, but you never looked either did you?


Physical and Behavioral Indicators of Abuse

Physical Abuse
Unexplained bruises (in various stages of healing) Unexplained burns, especially cigarette burns or immersion burns
Unexplained fractures, lacerations or abrasions Swollen areas
Evidence of delayed or inappropriate treatment for injuries
Self destructive
Withdrawn and/or aggressive - behavioral extremes
Arrives at school early or stays late as if afraid to be at home
Chronic runaway (adolescents)
Complains of soreness or moves uncomfortably
Wears clothing inappropriate to weather, to cover body
Bizarre explanation of injuries
Wary of adult contact
Apprehensive when other children cry

Physical Neglect
Abandonment
Unattended medical needs
Consistent lack of supervision
Consistent hunger, inappropriate dress, poor hygiene
Lice, distended stomach, emaciated
Inadequate nutrition
Regularly displays fatigue or listlessness, falls asleep in class
Steals food, begs from classmates
Reports that no caretaker is at home
Frequently absent or tardy
Self destructive
School dropout (adolescents)
Extreme loneliness and need for affection

Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse may be non-touching: obscene language, pornography, exposure - or touching: fondling, molesting, oral sex, intercourse

Torn, stained or bloody underclothing
Pain, swelling or itching in genital area
Difficulty walking or sitting
Bruises or bleeding in genital area
Venereal disease
Frequent urinary or yeast infections
Withdrawn, chronic depression
Excessive seductiveness
Role reversal, overly concerned for siblings
Poor self-esteem, self-devaluation, lack of confidence
Peer problems, lack of involvement
Massive weight change
Suicide attempts (especially adolescents)
Hysteria, lack of emotional control
Inappropriate sex play or premature understanding of sex
Threatened by physical contact, closeness
Unwilling to change clothes in front of anyone
Exhibits fantasy or baby-like behavior
Frequent nightmares
High level of unexplained anxiety

Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse may be name-calling, insults, put-downs, etc., or it may be terrorization, isolation, humiliation, rejection, corruption, ignoring
Speech disorders
Delayed physical development
Substance abuse
Ulcers, asthma, severe allergies
Habit disorder (sucking, rocking, biting)
Antisocial, destructive
Neurotic traits (sleep disorders, inhibition of play)
Passive and aggressive - behavioral extremes
Delinquent behavior (especially adolescents)
Developmentally delayed

Remember:

DISCIPLINE helps a child learn a lesson that will carry over and positively affect future behavior. ABUSE affects the future in a negative way, leading to anger, hatred and more deviant behavior.DISCIPLINE enhances the child’s sense of self worth, helping the child learn self-control and thus becoming comfortable within the family and in society. ABUSE robs the child of self worth and causes him/her to feel outcast and resentful.

DISCIPLINE is not shame or guilt. ABUSE is shame or guilt which satisfies the needs of the parents at the moment and destroys the self image of the child in a hostile manner.

DISCIPLINE is taught by example. But so is abuse!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, reported in her own handwritten statement that you requested she do during the 4 1/2 hours she was in the LCSD on Friday, March 19, 2004. This 14 yo female child reported that her father woke her up from sleep to make her enter into an adjacent room with a computer where he questioned her about completly innocent email that you even found nothing wrong with, became irrate and grabbed her hard by the head of hair to bring her face up close with his. I did note that although she did state this during the interview with the first Deputy that it is not documented in your report "he screamed that he was going to beat me black and blue on every inch of my body". That is a direct quote from the child to myself, her mother and the first deputy (who I will say was not only compassionate and understanding, she assisted in opening the door for this child to tell her what was happening in her life and felt it warranted investigation. She also had insight into CDV and Abused Children that I have rarely seen). As wonderful as this Deputy was, once it was turned over to the impartial and unmoving Detective, the child went numb and right into her chipper acting and defense mode. This is something very common for her because she is uncomfortable with males, especially those who appear to be intimidating. )

This man spat those words with spit going into this childs face and finally she was able to withdrawl and cowl down enough that he found her a wast of time and allowed her to scurry back to bed. During the second tirade on that very Friday evening she reported the incidents, this caring, and doting father, made this 14 year old female remove her clothing because she was not "worthy of wearing something he purchased for her". He called her lude names such as "wh__re, sl_t, F_g", "Useless, worthless".

Just for the record, you guys did such a grande job of screening this case, it was SCREENED OUT and closed by Friday of the following week. Keep in mind, it did take until Wed to even get DSS to acknowledge that it was brought to them by LCSD. Which did take place AFTER the first post on this site and that same Detective called the mother a little perturbed about the post, because LCSD evidently reads this site frequently and printed it out for him to review. How kind. Thanks fellas. I appreciate that, it did help expedite this right to the file 13 at LC DSS.

Its not like it really matters to you that I am explaining what you saw as nothing right?

Are you feeling a little "abused" by my words right now? Does it "anger and hurt" to know that someone is attacking you for something you felt was out of your control? How do those shoes feel? Because that is a mild feeling compared to feeling it day in and day out.

Did I happen to mention that the VICTIM even stated this verbal attack is done almost daily.

But, hey you guys at LCSD and DSS you know your stuff when it comes to child abuse. Surely this is one of the most positive and nurturing ways ever to raise a child. Why, I am feeling the warm fuzzies right now as I sit here writing to a complete strangers asking for someone to take responsibility for the huge gaping holes we have in our system.

How dare you tell me, this child, her mother and God knows how many countless people who have made similar reports, that this does not classify as abuse under our laws. Get your head out of the sand. Where do you think abuse STARTS?

Guess what people? Under OUR law is where I pulled this information. I'll even go one further. The lovely ladies of DSS and I quote, stated that unless a "THERAPIST" reported the incident, they couldn't do their jobs and oh, I almost forgot, "THIS CASE HAS BEEN SCREENED OUT"!!.

When the mother asked why? No answer! When the mother asked did you speak to my child? The reply, "we don't have to and no we didn't"

When I contacted to report the incident as a citizen and witness to her plea for help, DSS responsed "We don't care if she wrote a statement, she's not a therapist. Your right there! She's not. Lord knows after 14 years of living with this day in and day out, she probably needs a therapist though. I guess you can't help her with that either can you?

Heck, after watching our laws and so called trained DSS people and Law Enforcement in action, I probably need a therapist too, just so I can sleep at night for thinking about all of these children you people "SCREENED OUT" because you read a file and heard part of a story.

How many have you SCREENED OUT like this where you never bothered to HEAR THE CHILD say it and describe in in their own WORDS? How many times have you decided to NOT VISIT THE HOME because you took the word of a Deputy or Detective in a REPORT? Or what I couldn't get past was a PHONE INTERVIEW with the abuser.

Nice going and yet, you people actually went to school so you could HELP children in situations like this. You would be better off being morticians, at least that way you can put all the blood in one place instead of allowing it to spill from generation to generation because you deemed this perfect little house of hell as a perfectly conducive enviornment and situation to raise a child in.

Every time you people sweep one of these clean cut, over achieving, average and above income kids under the carpet, you have just enabled abuse to spread from one generation over into the next. Do your homework you over educated and proclaimed trained enforcers.

ABUSE carries over in to ADULTHOOD. Its like a cancer that spreads from one generation to the next until someone finds a way to prevent it or treat it. Two things, our society and clearly our DSS and Law Enforcement know nothing about.

But don't you worry about this anymore. You guys put your heads on your pillows every night and sleep like babies knowing God knows how many kids you have sentenced to a living hell because you chose to be judge and jury and speak for them instead of giving them their own God giving right to speak loud and clear about what happens to them. Your not trained to gather information from a mute.

Which is exactly what you did when you chose NOT to HEAR this CHILD. Just because she lives in a nice home and her father and step mother APPEARED to be normal, you packaged and labeled a situation you had no idea about.

You walked out slapping this man on the back like a pal and forever etched in this childs mind just why she should NEVER TRUST AN ADULT AND ABSOLUTELY NEVER TRUST A POLICE OFFICER, TEACHER, SRO OR ANYONE WHO CLAIMS TO BE SOMEONE THAT THEY CAN TURN TO FOR HELP!!

You, who vowed to Protect and Serve, are the same ones who took a VICTIM and became their own living JUDGE AND JURY each time you deemed a situation less severe than it APPEARED on the OUTSIDE.

You CONVICTED these INNOCENT VICTIMS, without ever hearing ALL THE EVIDENCE.

Did any of the people involved ever bother to interview or even ask for witnesses? I was there, I never heard you ask? Did you ever go sit down and interrogate this man and his current wife like you did for 4 hours to this 14 year old child, who by the way CAME TO YOU in your OWN SHERIFFS DEPARTMENT FOR HELP? No, YOU DID NOT!

Did you ever bother to visit her Step Mothers family and investigate when this child had a huge bruise on her arm that her father PROUDLY told the whole family HE PUT THERE? Nope, because past abuse is non-related to present abuse when you don't believe what the victim is trying to tell you anyway.

2 years of trying to convince this child that telling the RIGHT PEOPLE, the ones who have sworn to SERVE and PROTECT her was how she could finally put an end to this and what do you do? You betray her. You bring the slaughter right back to her own front door step and then you mock her, laugh with her abuser and basically spit in her face right along with him. Then, you leave laughing on your way out about how your sorry for the misunderstanding and waste of his valuable time.

After all, she is just a child. She'll grow up one day and get to move out and stop this abuse right? Heck, she has a nice home, you probably just did her a favor by writing a half ass report, not interviewing anyone and then walking it over to those highly qualified useless waste of air at Lexington DSS and letting them SCREEN IT RIGHT INTO THE TRASH CAN.

Yes, you guys did a smashing service to this child. Why she should remember you and your honesty, protection and loyalty to her for your years to come. Well, that is until her father completely snaps and she has no future years to come. But, I really do appreciate all your time and effort in assisting this man in sealing his childs own fate to misery, abuse and verbal attacks until she runs away or he beats her again and breaks her and you recall that beautiful smile as your taking her report as the VICTIM again in a hospital.

You should all feel so proud. No, I am being sarcastic. You should hang your heads in shame and pray to God for the INNOCENT VICTIM you just sentenced.

I encourage you to print this email throughout the Sheriffs Department again. Call the Mom and complain about a site she had no clue I posted on until you called her. Or better yet call me. I assure you, I will not be your victim. This is one SCREENED OUT CASE, I promise that you, DSS and this father/abuser will remember for years to come. It's time to be proactive here. To change our laws, clean out the dust bunnies you guys are building in those offices and put to work some people who want to look into what happens to these innocent children, who are packaged so nicely, that your small four cornered minds could not possibly fatham anything horrible going on behind those nice, well painted, closed doors in that beautiful little house in West Columbia.

As for you citizens who read this.

It could be your own next door neighbor hurting this child. It could be someone you go to church with, your mail person, landscaper, painter or your childs coach. She could be your child's best friend. Smiling because she has become numb to the abuse. Trying her best to be the very best at everything she can just hoping that once, Daddy will smile and say I love you instead of berating her for being stupid and dragging him to a Talent Show he never wanted to go to. She could have been that child that our own Sheriff voted on to win in that show.

It could be that really nice family right down the road from you. Be AWARE of WHO your NEIGHBORS ARE. LISTEN, LOOK and ASK QUESTIONS!

Just like petiphiles don't wear t-shirts saying "Hey, I'm a petiphile and your child looks good to me". CDV and Child Abusers don't wear signs and t-shirts stating "Take a Swing at my kid, I DO".

You have to look deeper into what doesn't appear right to you. You have to LISTEN to what is being said by the child and you have to intervene when those very people WE help put into office/positions turn their backs and brush these VICTIMS aside, just because it just looked to nice on the outside to have anythinb horrible on the inside happening.

On a side note LCSD/DSS and Detectives, you should be happy to know that this man went to the childs school and spoke with the Principals, teachers and SRO and demanded that they never allow his child to use the phone to contact her mother or anyone. And According to what the child has told the other children and mother and the people she CAN TRUST, if she does, they are to contact him right away so he can HANDLE IT!! You see, She might ask for help, and we wouldn't want to inconvenience the Daddy and his loving Step Mother/wife again in their nicely packaged home.

She has been instructed to never speak to any of you again "or else". Because, my goodness - she might ask for help. Of course, I have to agree with this child. "I would never tell the police again, or the SRO, teachers, couselors or Principals. They don't care or believe me anyway. It was all just a big waste of time and I ended up having to pay for it again anyway". Because thats what she said when you guys SCREENED IT OUT and gave her Daddy just one more thing to HATE HER FOR and to ABUSE HER FOR!! Looking like a twin to her mother was not enough, you just needed to add that little extra topping for him to go to "that next level". Remember that comment Detective, it will come back to haunt you in another report one day when your writing it up for something 10 times worse or you write it up for another one of these "picture perfect children" you decide you don't have enough to go on and help with. By the way. The Deputy that was dispatched on Thursday evening of this past week. Nice job of telling the Dad again that you don't even know why you were called and laughing again in the face of the INNOCENT as you seal her fate a little more. Oh, didn't I mention. She told a friend on the phone in a whisper before they hung up (Dad was listening on the other line) "somethings wrong". Nice job Officer. Way to be impartial!

You've enabled an ABUSER to make the VICTIM feel more isolated and alone than ever before. You ENABLED the ABUSER to PLACE HIS OWN GAG ORDERon his own child, THE VICTIM! That deserves a round of applaud. Kudos on a job well done. Mission accomplished, this case has been SCREENED OUT and NO ONE is to know what happens to this child in the future.

Maybe the next time you guys want to talk shop, football or baseball you can drop by and peek around and see if she is "still breathing" like he told the mom the other day when she tried to check to make certain her daughter was ok. OR better yet, if she has any new shades of blush to her coloring (black blue, purple, green) they come in the shapes of finger prints too.

Oh thats right, he only does that on his time when it doesn't matter to you or anyone else, even DSS. Because when Mom gets her, there faded and never mean't anything happened anyway right?

Clearly, we need to take stock in our legal system and laws. We need to wake up and realize that abused children are not just black, blue, burned, stabbed and left in a poor enviornment to fend for themselves. Abuse comes in all size, types, education and income levels. Do your homework. Someone needs to.

Citizens please email, write or call our SHERIFF - James R. Metts, OUR Director of DSS William Walker and especially OUR GOVERNOR, OUR HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES, OUR SENATORS and CONGRESSMAN! We need a change in these laws. The one that they changed in January 2004, disabled a child from being protected under the CDV law. Now wheres the child to go?

[Anonymous]

Fighting Chance, here are some statisics to go along with your other information. The more education you can give, the better the chances that this will sink in.

REPORTING OF ABUSE

More than 2.67 million reports of possible maltreatment involving 3 million children were made to child protective service agencies in calendar year 2001.1

The actual incidence of abuse and neglect is estimated to be three times greater than the number reported to authorities.5

Child abuse is reported-on average-every 10 seconds.
Based on approximately 3 million reports per year.

An estimated 903,000 children were victims of abuse and neglect in 2001 (cases substantiated by child protective service agencies.)1

Nine in 10 Americans polled regard child abuse as a serious problem, yet only 1 in 3 reported abuse when confronted with an actual situation.6

Emotional Abuse

You are being emotionally abused if someone who takes care of you…

Calls you names that are really mean. Tells you that you are worthless, stupid or "a mistake." Makes fun of you until it hurts. Tells you that you are never good enough or you can't do anything right. Tells you they wish you had never been born.

Often children and teens are abused by the people who are closest to them like family, friends, sitters, neighbors and sometimes even teachers and coaches. These are the very people that children should feel the safest with.

If you need help or have questions about child abuse, call the Childhelp USA® National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) then push 1 to talk to a counselor.

I would suggest getting in touch with whatever media you can that will be willing to investigate the Sheriffs Department, DSS and the way they treat cases like these. There is power in the media if you can find someone willing to take this on and allow you or the child to speak out. They are very good about working with individuals running into walls such as these.

Good luck. I will email you some additional information to assist you in this.

[Anonymous]

Fighting chance,
You know if you would put as much effort into the little girls plight as you did this forum, something might be done. Also those detectives and deputie do not make the laws in this state, so if you are told that the law hasnt been violated then there is nothing they can do. You need to be upset with the legislators, they make the laws.
Also is the father is "abusing" her verbally, well sorry that is not against the law either. But i will remeber that little girl who is getting yelled at next time i find a child that has been beaten. Yes i will devote my time to the girl that gets verbally abused and the one that gets physically, well they will have to wait.
Have you really looked into this story, or are you just taking her side. I find it hard to belive that all these agencies wont do nothing, there must not be a problem. to me it sounds like an on going custody battle. Do you know both sides of the story or ust hers???

[Anonymous]

Joel,

I know both sides of the Story. I have spoken with the father and he has made those same hated remarks about his child directly to me. As far as it being a mother / father issue. Your wrong. Its not. As to whether I am taking the childs side. Yes, I am. Your mindset is exactly what pushes this kind of issue under the carpet.

You miss my point totally on posting here. First, if there was nothing that LCSD could do, then they should have told the child up front instead of misleading her into thinking they believed her plight and really gave a rip.

Secondly, I spoke with the people at DSS personally and the little pieces I posted were mild compared to their poor professionalism and ethics in mishandling this case. For that matter, I could bend your ears about what I witnessed just standing in the hallway at your wonderful Department.

The child is the victim here. If nothings wrong, then why not just let her speak out for herself to someone who really gives a damn and see if there is something real going on here. The point is. NO ONE has allowed her to do that. You see, it was put under the carpet before DSS even bothered to hear what she had to say. Because hey, no marks then its just not happening right? Reread your law Joel. Abuse is not isolated to black and blue. Throwing a child against the wall doesn't always leave a black and blue mark until Mom gets to her a week later. Punching her, isolating her from neighbors, friends, the telephone so that she can't speak to anyone. Well, that rates right up there with Quality parenting doesn't? I don't have a problem so much with Deputies Joel. I know your job is tuff enough. I have a problem with the law sterotyping what abused children look like and then a deputy not looking outside the box enough to HEAR what is being told to them by the victim. This is not a pissing contest. This is a request for SOMEONE in some kind of QUALIFIED position to HEAR what the CHILD has to say and then make an INFORMED decision to SCREEN OUT a case. NO ONE has done that to date.

As for how I spend my time on the forum. Your right. there is definately a much better way to gather the attention needed to this law and these CHILDREN. Lets explore that option and see what angle it takes because this forum appears to be full of law enforcement for the most part who only take an interest in mud slinging and campaign issues. Not whats happeing in their own backyards and to the citizens they are sworn to protect. Why should they. Theres no problem, you heard all the facts right?

[Anonymous]

Oddly enough, there have been no further post. What happened with this child and what did the law enforcement and dss do to help her out?

[Anonymous]

The little girl is still miserable and stuck in the house. Her father is still abusing her even decided now to remove all photographs of her from his home and refused to buy her clothing, have her hair cut or take care of her with the exception of cursing and yelling, but has decided to stop putting marks on her now. (No more tell, tell signs).. Well, that was at least something positive.

As for LCSD and DSS.. ??? Who?? No, the good ole detective did a great job.. Her father has gone to school and is walking the streets telling everyone how the good Detective stepped up to his side and made him feel right at home. Heck, Dad stated to witnesses that the good detective told the father the girl was "coursed" and wrote a three page statement of lies. (so, now your Detective, Judge and Jury).. You have a big job don't you?

Even though Detective you and I both know she wasn't. I'm sorry if you were looking for an uneducated, unarticulate embicile to explain her situation. She is bright and very well educated. That should have had no bearing on her statement. Clearly, it did with you! Besides, if she were coursed the whole time, where were you? I mean, someone would have had to be there the whole time right? Or were you in the room on your cell talking to other citizens about their case in public and in front of other citizens and not really taking an interest in the child at all? Why that didn't violate anything did it? Or what about laughing and talking openly about a case and victim while standing among citizens again in the hallway and mentioning the details of the victims case. Nah, that's not breaking any boundaries is it? I guess not if you look at it from an internal LCSD position. SOME of the people in the Sheriffs Department are the reason we have a word called Dysfunction.

Maybe thats why you felt it was "Justified" to sign off on a statement you didn't believe to begin with. Not the most professional move. To sign off on something you didn't believe in. Why not just tell the child then and there you thought she was a liar? No, that wasn't good enough. You decided to take it straight to her Daddy so he could read it and then leave her there to suffer the consequences for even attempting to reach out for help. How about those statements that her father has been bragging about in public: "That the little girl was coursed" during her statement. Gee Detective, if that were the case, then why wouldn't you have intervened? Have you and the Father gone to dinner yet? From all of his comments you would think you were pillow talking with one another.

Is that how the Great LCSD Detective treats all of his cases? If so, we really do need to clean house in this place.

But, don't you worry!! Luckily enough, she gained the attention of a National Victims Advocacy Agency who is quite interested in ALL aspects of this case From START to FINISH!!! Not only that, but, the little girl will get her day in court. Represented by her very own Attorney to address HER rights and the ones that you and her father violated. Did I mention that the Victims Advocate doesn't care about Mom, Dad or the great Detective. Just the child! That's all the focus was anyway. Then, if you had been focused on your job. Well, you would have seen that wouldn't you?

It's the squeaky wheel that gains the most attention.. SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK!!!! This mom's squeaking until somethings are changed in our judicial system and law enforcement practices with minors and abuse.

Maybe you and Dad can strategize more about how "bogus this case is" or "how it's just wasting your time" "how you were only doing it to CYA yourself"? Sounds all professional and on the up and up to me. Somehow, this organization and the other media didn't agree with your ethics Detective, or the outcome of this case. Sometimes you just have to "go the extra mile". News flash!! I'm running a marathon for my child. Despite your poor ethics and the sad job you did with my daughter that night and the events that came afterwards.

Thank you whoever asked how she was. She's hanging in there despite what she was subjected to for telling the truth. God willing, she will have her day in court to put this behind her soon enough.

P.s. Detective-- A little advice. You have no skills to deal with a minor who is being abused. You were accusing and bullied her the entire time. Your distaste for victims of domestic violence was evident throughout the evening.

It showed in your poor decision to speak about another victim in front of someone who had already experienced the horror of domestic violence personally. Worse, by the very person you subjected my child to when you decided to call her father your a buddy instead of treating him like a suspect and finding out why the child felt the need to ask for help in the first place. I thought that was your job. My mistake. Not anymore though!

[Anonymous]

I think you should file a complaint against the detective with the Proffesional Standards Department. I know you might think that nothing will be done -- and that maybe. But know this -- by Accreditation Standards --- all complaints have to be investigated (meaning the detective will be questioned/grilled about what happened, the detective's supervisor will be apart of the investigation as well, and the complaint will be lodged in his/her personnel file).

Just maybe the complaint will make the detective think twice about mishandling another domestic violence victim.

The number to the Professional Standards Department is 803-951-2420. You can speak with Sgt. Rusty Manley or Insp. Joel Huggins.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for that. I had no idea that could be done. I will pursue that avenue.

[Reality]

Just curious. It appears to be a legitimate claim and yet only one person responded from within the Sheriffs Department. I have seen post all over this sight from Deputies. Yet, only one who took a small interest in seeing that this mother received a way to report her plight.

Is child abuse such a minor issue that it did not deem the worthy attention of the deputies who post on this site? It appears that this child was not given an opportunity to speak with a "Child CDV Investigator or Advocate" that I have noted reported on Metts website and from Metts Deputies on this site. It was my understanding that LCSD has one. Yet, my curiosity is getting me. Mom, did your child have an opportunity to speak with one of these "Specialist"?

If not, and she was only questioned or misquestioned by a detective with no experience in this type of assault, I would strongly encourage you to have an attorney investigate the violation of your daugthers rights to have an "experienced advocate for children" that this department claims to have on force.

It never hurts to ask Mom. You might finally gain someones attention that can help. I understand that the ethics committee is a long shot. But did you try it?

[Anonymous]

Reality the answer is no. My child was not extended the right to a child's advocate to speak with her. She was first spoken to by a female Deputy on duty and then later a male Detective who was on duty but complaining about having had to work past 8pm and still no end in sight for him. That did bother me. They do seem over worked at this police station.

The male Detective did a once over (looked across the table at her) and didn't detect any visible signs of abuse. He asked if she would right him a statement about what took place. She did. He made her feel like she was a liar the entire interview so she went into her over achiever mode and started acting like an adult with him and only giving him those yes and no answers with nothing more. If he didn't ask the question, he wasn't given the answer. He went to no extra effort to find out what her real plight was and only made it worse by calling her a liar to her father and agreeing with her father that this was more of an irritation for the father that his daughter was trying to get help than it was to the child who was the victim and still is to day.

The only thing that we accomplished is a blessing in one way. He is afraid to touch her now! He draws back to hit her, tells her he wants to hit her, still shoves her around and degrades her verbally. But he no longer throws her into walls and out right hits her in the head and arms anymore. I told him I would call the police even if they didn't help. I promised I would call anytime she was able to get word to me of what was happening. I did this once. But the Officer went in and spoke with the Father and never even looked at the child or spoke to her. Again, she was blown off from LCSD. At least they do HAVE to respond and he knows the neighbors and people are watching him now. It bothers him enough that he hasn't left anymore markings. To bad it doesn't help with the verbal attacks and demeaning comments he makes about her EVERYDAY! They are scars and marks too, but the Detective said they don't count!

But, the Father is now telling my daughter that him and Sheriff Metts are like brothers and that the Sheriff has promised that nothing will be done to him if calls are made or reports are given.

The Victims Advocate National Division is looking into my case. But, I am not the only case so it is a little slower than I had hoped! I do have an attorney now and will no longer rely on the Sheriffs Department to do their job. I will formally file complaints and have them accountable for not following procedures and not taking a real interest in these children. Not just mine, but anyone who had to go through what she does and get laughed at for telling the truth. It is the truth. That person that wrote that on the other post needs to understand that THIS IS THE TRUTH!!! MY CHILD EXPERIENCED IT!!! No one inside that Department cares. Your right, that's why there is no post.

As for the filing to those two individuals. I did some checking. I don't trust one of the them (Deputies at his own department don't like him) and the other one I am told will take about as much interest in this and reprimanding that Detective as the Detective did in filing the initial report and interviewing my daughter. Why bother? LCSD doesn't give a dang about my child or me! I don't need anyone showing up to file a report they don't care to take. I definately don't need to be another piece of paper in a stack that never gets anything done to it.

I will handle it through the legal system. Win or lose. At least she will know I HEARD HER and I LISTENED and I TRIED!!! If the system fails her, its on them. Not me. I will fight until someone listens to her story and takes an interest in what she has to say and what her rights are!!

Thanks for asking about this. I do watch this site. I had my daughter this weekend and did not have a chance to check it. On a side note. Maybe if Larry Harrison becomes Sheriff he will take an interest in her case. At least he sounds like someone who wants to know what his Detectives and Deputies are doing to the people they are supposed to be helping. I sure didn't get that feeling from the current people in charge.

Mom

[Reality]

Well, I'm shocked. No, not really. If you go to the Lexington County Sheriffs Department Website, you will note that they claim to have "Specialist" just for this very purspose. It is pathetic that your child was a subjected to someone who didn't know his head from a hole in the wall.

I am a firm believer in justice Mom. So, I would get on the horn to very news person who will listen, call every child advocate agency and write letters to anyone in a political position during this election year to do something about it. I don't suppose you would like to share Sherlock Holmes name with us would you? I can't believe someone would take ANY CHILD ABUSE CASE so lightly. I don't feel sorry for this guy, I don't feel like he is over worked, and I don't know what kind drugs he was smoking to put your daughter in danger like he did. What an idiot!!! The things posted and outlined in this are beyond stupid. It borders accessory to the Dad. Guess thats Metts Accreditation and all that wisdom and training funneling right down to his detectives. What a joke!

"No visible marks, it must not be happening". Maybe someone should take a cane poll and beat the crap out of him and let the red marks heal and class it as "love taps" and see how he feels afterwards.

I am emailing Fighting Chance the information she needs to cause this Detective and his supervisors enough crap to keep them hopping on egg shells for a while. Don't worry, there will be "no visible marks" maybe they can go around with that same concept of "this can't be happening".

Hang in there and check that email for the info.

[Anonymous]

You have to have the Patience of a Saint if your waiting for anyone of those Lexington browsers to browse this post and put their vast knowledge of the law to use. A lot of hit and no bite. That sounds about right!

Mom heres a reason to get a new Sheriff in Lexington County. I would take that anger and add it to getting people to vote for Harrison. Maybe when he takes office, he can pull your file and reopen the case the bungling detective and DSS screwed up!

HARRISON JUNE 8th :evil:

[Anonymous]

Can anyone update us on this little girl?

[Anonymous]

This childs mother was given a number to the Prof. Standards Dept. @ Lex. Co. and was told to talk to Rusty Manley or Joel Huggins. Well... my question is.......Is Joel Huggins the JoelH on this forum? He really sounded like an ass in his reply. He doesn't sound like anyone I would want to post a complaint with. He seems to have the same mentality that most of LCSD has. It's the good ole boy system. They cover each others ass. They never do anything wrong.