BTDT
10-29-2007, 03:10 PM
Court will be scheduled in the middle of your days off.
Hot calls will only come over the air 10 minutes before the end of your shift.
You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station.
Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.
The Mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.
You will only forget to go to court when the case is presided over by the meanest Judge in town.
To error is human, to forgive is against department policy.
You will find a "police discount" one day before payday.
Shatterproof flashlights seldom are.
You will remain in perfect health until your days off.
Glow in the dark sights are just as visible to you as they are to the crook hiding behind you.
No patrol car assigned to you will be clean and never have a full tank of gas.
Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.
Flashlight batteries never die in the daylight hours.
Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the sheriff
Perfect 10's only show up to talk when you are busy.
Bullet proof vests might be.
Your bullet proof vest was supplied by the lowest bidder.
The number of citizen that approach you during lunch is inversely proportional to the amount of time you have to eat.
Your portable radio will never fail until you are involved in a foot pursuit.
Vehicle pursuits always progress from areas of low traffic density to high traffic density.
NCIC will be down anytime you see a car listed on a hot sheet
You will be flagged down by a citizen when you are on your way to the PD with a bad case of diarrhea
You will only be stopped for speeding off duty when you have forgotten your badge and DL
You are ALWAYS downwind from pepper spray.
You will only be subpoenaed to court at 0900 hrs in the morning after working an 18 hour day.
If your patrol car's air is out the suspect will smell worse than a wet dog.
On the nights where you have to go grocery shopping in uniform, you will get pissed on by a drunk.
When your in a hurry, that is when all slow and "lack of attention" drivers are driving on the road.
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
Anything that you do can get you shot - including doing nothing!
The first sip from the first coffee of your shift always triggers the dispatcher to send you on a call usually an emergency or something that will cause the coffee to go cold before you can return to it.
You will only lock yourself out of your cruiser when a Supervisor is on scene, about to arrive on scene or is the only person available to fetch the spare set of keys from the station.
Putting in a request to go home early is the best way to jinx yourself and end up on overtime.
Hot calls will only come over the air 10 minutes before the end of your shift.
You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station.
Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.
The Mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.
You will only forget to go to court when the case is presided over by the meanest Judge in town.
To error is human, to forgive is against department policy.
You will find a "police discount" one day before payday.
Shatterproof flashlights seldom are.
You will remain in perfect health until your days off.
Glow in the dark sights are just as visible to you as they are to the crook hiding behind you.
No patrol car assigned to you will be clean and never have a full tank of gas.
Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.
Flashlight batteries never die in the daylight hours.
Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the sheriff
Perfect 10's only show up to talk when you are busy.
Bullet proof vests might be.
Your bullet proof vest was supplied by the lowest bidder.
The number of citizen that approach you during lunch is inversely proportional to the amount of time you have to eat.
Your portable radio will never fail until you are involved in a foot pursuit.
Vehicle pursuits always progress from areas of low traffic density to high traffic density.
NCIC will be down anytime you see a car listed on a hot sheet
You will be flagged down by a citizen when you are on your way to the PD with a bad case of diarrhea
You will only be stopped for speeding off duty when you have forgotten your badge and DL
You are ALWAYS downwind from pepper spray.
You will only be subpoenaed to court at 0900 hrs in the morning after working an 18 hour day.
If your patrol car's air is out the suspect will smell worse than a wet dog.
On the nights where you have to go grocery shopping in uniform, you will get pissed on by a drunk.
When your in a hurry, that is when all slow and "lack of attention" drivers are driving on the road.
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
Anything that you do can get you shot - including doing nothing!
The first sip from the first coffee of your shift always triggers the dispatcher to send you on a call usually an emergency or something that will cause the coffee to go cold before you can return to it.
You will only lock yourself out of your cruiser when a Supervisor is on scene, about to arrive on scene or is the only person available to fetch the spare set of keys from the station.
Putting in a request to go home early is the best way to jinx yourself and end up on overtime.