A Dillon-Gaston Alliance

[swampfox]

I would like to propose for consideration some kind of official alliance between Dillon and Gaston. I know it might be tricky because of the (physical) distance between them, but I think there are good reasons to think that it could work.

Let's discuss it.

[cuebald]

Well -

For openers, each should bring to the table something that the other needs.

Gaston could really use a new SOB to pump up the local area.

How is Dillon's supply of Confederate Lawn Gnomes holding out?

[Captain Worley]

I thought the lawn gnomes were in Pelion.

[swampfox]

Dang! That's right!

We screwed up again.

Could we even hope to be forgiven?

By the way, I was in Cayceland yesterday. Noticed the breastworks between the river and Parkland Plaza. Looking good!

[Captain Worley]

Thanks! Progress on the light house and the triumphant return of putt-putt has been rather slow, though.

[swampfox]

Even Rome, Georgia was not built in a day.

[swampfox]

"Gaston woman, Dillon man!
They get together every time they can,
Pee Dee River can't keep 'em apart
There's too much love in this Gaston heart,
Too much love in this Dillon heart"

-Conway Twitty and Loretta Lynn

[cuebald]

I thought the lawn gnomes were in Pelion.


Pelion-Swansea-Gaston Tri-city Triangle Area. Close enough.

Unless you're really picky you can't separate them any more, anyway. Next week they'll probably annex Cayce.

And if they get a new SOB over there, Watch Out!

[swampfox]

One minute - confederate lawn gnomes,

Next minute - skyscrapers.

Nothing anybody can do about it.

[Captain Worley]

Maybe they can take a page from Oral Roberts and make a 900 foot Confederate Lawn Gnome. It'd be the St Louis Arch of the Deep South.

[swampfox]

That would be great. Then they could build a figure-8 dirt track that runs around and between its feet. Maybe put on some of those little brackets (painted to blend in) so some folks could practice their rock-climbing skills.

And an observation deck in his face!

Look out!

[cuebald]

Which side of the river gets to be East Saint Louis?

[Captain Worley]

I spent nine months just east of East St Louis. My car was the only one in the parking lot that didn't get stolen during the first two weeks school was out (gang initiation--steal a car and bring it to ESL).

Couldn't wait to leave the place.

[cuebald]

Once you've been to East St. Lou you understand why Jackie Joyner Kearse could outrun a jackrabbit.

The hour I spent there was enough to supply me with memories for a lifetime.

The moral of the story is: Plan ahead, or else your wife/navigator may tell you where to turn to look for a gas station (and no, I don't mean a Chop Suey stand!) and in a weak moment you may actually listen to her.