New dog / poem for Anna Nicole

[swampfox]

I got a new puppy, looks like he's going to be a good one.

Our last dog was the best dog I've ever had.

You know, once you have one really great dog, it's hard to be without one for the rest of your life.

The big trick for raising a good dog has to do with the fact that to be healthy-minded, a dog has to believe that he's part of the family, just like wolves need to be part of a pack. If a person is not prepared to make sure the dog feel like part of the family, maybe some different animal would make a better pet.

Then they will take their jobs (including Chief of Security) very seriously.

Anyway, I wrote this poem for Anna Nicole the other day on another board and nobody has commented on it, so I thought I'd put it here.

Laid to rest in the Bahamas
Landing-place for challenged mamas
Ah-na, Ah-na Nicole

Videos and photo shoots
Of her two best attributes
Hark, now hear the heavn'ly flutes?
Ah-na, Ah-na Nicole

Had to get a special casket
Lest her breasts should blow the gasket
Ah-na, Ah-na Nicole

Lower'd in a sandy hole
Ah-na, Ah-na Nicole

Now that she is past and gone
Who will get her methadone?
Ah-na, Ah-na Nicole

All the world and all its dough
Could not make her like Monroe
Dang!, I hate to see her go
Ah-na, Ah-na Nicole

[cuebald]

Wait a minute and I'll get my conga drum.

You need to do one for Ann Coulter, now.

[swampfox]

Yeah, I've actually written a number of poems for Anne Coulter, but I'm bound by the only poem-related capital crime in American law. The things I write about her are considered to be pretty doggone bad. The founding fathers expected this kind of thing could happen one day. It was a last minute sentence put into I can't remember which article or amendment to the constitution.

But anyway, last night I had a dream in which I was sitting on a beach at night, and there was one of those weird thick fogs that comes just up where the waves give up climbing the sand and roll back down into the sea. And out of that mist, to my right, walks Anna Nicole. She doesn't look in my direction, just keeps walking up the beach. Just out beyond the breakers there was a big school of dolphins that were jumping up and squeaking and trying to get her attention, but she ignored them too. Soon she faded away into the fog to my left.

I sure don't know what that one means.

[cuebald]

Too much calamari on your pizza before bedtime would be my guess.

[swampfox]

Puppy is 6 months old now. Had him fixed two days ago. He seems to have forgotten about it already.

We were both out howling at the full moon tonight. Felt good.

[Captain Worley]

Werewolves of Hopkins...

[swampfox]

Ah-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

[Captain Worley]

I saw a werewolf eating a baconburger at Mr Bunkey's,
His hair was perfect....

[swampfox]

That was Lon Chaney.

Wait a minute...Chaney, Cheney...One played demonic characters in movies, the other was one in real life....

Very curious.

[Captain Worley]

Maybe...maybe when Cheney shot his buddy, he was in fact trying to shoot a werewolf!

Or, perhaps his buddy WAS a werewolf!

What an odd world we live in.

[swampfox]

And getting odder by the minute.