Barbies

[swampfox]

When, oh when, are they going to make them anatomically correct?

I haven't checked the GI Joes. Anybody know?

[Captain Worley]

Growing Skipper was always amusing.

[TruthBTold]

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.

He pulls over to a toy store and asks the salesperson, "How much is the Barbie on the display window?"

The salesperson answers, "Which one? We have: Work out Barbie for $19.95 Shopping Barbie for $19.95 Beach Barbie for $19.95 Disco Barbie for $19.95 Divorced Barbie for $265.95".

The amazed father asks: "What? Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and all the others only $19.95?"

The salesperson annoyingly answers : "Sir..., "Divorced Barbie comes
with:
Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer and... One of Ken's Friends.

[ZooFuzz]

Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Metropolitan Columbia market:



"Columbia NortheastBarbie"
This princess Barbie is sold only at Northeast shoppes. She comes with anassortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honeyand a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and facelift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

"Irmo Barbie"
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivanand matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation.Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

"Elgin Barbie"
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife,aChevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is onlyavailable after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceablebills) ....unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

"Lake Katherine Barbie"
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2.Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Alsoavailable for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able toafford any of them.

"Lower Richland Barbie"
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes toosmall, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Budlight and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken'sbutt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flagbumper sticker absolutely free.

"Leesburg Road Barbie"
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her ownhigh-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Mooresville Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and asee-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.

"Five Points Barbie"
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call herWillow . She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Five Points Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

"Farrow Road Barbie"
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessoriesinclude a GED, bus pass, and KFC gift card. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now verydifficult to find since the addition of the infant.

"Senate Street Barbie/Ken"
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simplyadding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.

[Captain Worley]

Now THAT'S funny.

[Lakal]

Happy to see that my neighborhood has not been selected for it's own Barbie.